Pathetic

Sorry this took me so long!

So I have been helping people with relationship issues for quite a while, and one of my friends, more like my "sister", really makes me think whenever she talks to me. This song is for her. Hun, I'm not calling you pathetic at all but I'm following the train of thought that you used when you were talking to me. Love ya!

~~~~~~~~~

Called "Pathetic"

Whatever you did yo here,

It must have been bad,

To hide it from me

Until times get this sad

You think that you're smooth

And that no one will ever

Learn your dirty little secret

You're Pathetic

Yes that's what I said

A pathetic looser who got inside my head

And no matter what I do

I can't get you out

Pathetic

How did we end up this bad

And why all of a sudden

Am I getting so mad,

Mad at what I thought was real

Mad at what I wanted to be true

But mostly mad at you because...

You're Pathetic

Yes that's what I said

A pathetic looser who got

Inside my head

And no matter what I do

I can't get you out

Pathetic

Quit calling me

Quit talking to me

You forever changed how I think of you

And no matter what you say

You'll never leave me alone

Now does that make me...

Pathetic

Yes that's what I said

A pathetic looser who

let you into my head

And no matter what I do

No matter what I do....

I can't get you out

Am I that pathetic

~~~~~~~~~~~~fin~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thank ye,

bean

Something

There's something about writing these poems/songs that helps me think clearly. When everything is a muddle, I have my words to help me through, they may not be long songs, but they are what they are.

"Something" is not about stalking like some may think. It's about being forgotten and thus forgetting and not allowing a person back into a life that hurt it.

Something

It's never been to clear

I'm standing at your doorway again

What am I doing here

I don't know where I've been

There is something pushing you away

Always something bringing me near

Aomething that i never want to say

But with you it's so clear

You are the reason for me

To be standing here livin my days

You are the reason for me

To be livin through my days

The world is filled with winding roads

Inside the fabric of our lives

The ones that brought us to this fold

We've never been so alive

You are the reason for me

To be standing here livin my days

You are the reason for me

To be livin through my days

There is something pushing you away

Always something pushing you away

You never had the time for me

Even though I have always been there

You are the reason for me

To be standing hatin my days

You are the reason for me

To be living through my days

Well now you are here again

And I don't have time for you

SInce you didn't want me near

Why should I even start to care

You are the reason I'm strong

Without you I would not have learned

That what goes on through life

Is no such fairy-tale

I's never been too clear

I'm standing at your doorway again

What am I doing here

I won't be back ever again....ever again....ever again....

You are the reason for me

To be standing here livin my days

You are the reason for me

To be lovin my last few days

~~~~~~~~~~~~~fin~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yay, all done

Nothing Yet

So, I was trying to do an update every other day and since that is failing miserably, I will update later. No idea when the next one will come, but I got nothing done yet, several started, but none done.

sorry all,

Bean

End of The World

End of the World

While nothing seems to work out

And the past seems to never come true

There is still a chance for the world to see,

Not a large one, but a chance none the less

This chance of which we speak is

Nothing anyone hasn't thought of before

But this time, we have a story

We have a song that will change it all

A song that will change what the world thinks

Of itself and others around it, before and after it

It does not matter what others think

Only this is important:

We tried and tried, and couldn't get it

And we tried and tried to wake up

Only to find that we are already awake

What is this nightmare?

Although there are many who find this repetitive

It has a different meaning each time it is read

Each time it is written a new meaning comes

Another person realizes what must be done

Even though there isn't much that I can do

I can still write this poem and hope

Hope that someone will listen this time

Wish that someone will listen this time

Yet soon all wishing and hoping will be gone

And the world will be lift with nothing

Nothing that they haven't had before

Nothing new will ever show its face

With a world like this one no one will stay

Some people will stay and some will leave

The world can't hold all that are here

Some will be forced to leave, others will choose

When it comes to this I hope I'm gone

I hope that I'll be dead and gone for good

When the end comes, there will be nothing left

There will be nothing left but stupid memories

Stupid memories no one wants anyways

So why do we keep these hated things?

Because we can't afford to forget,

But we don't want to remember.

Stupid memories no one wants anyways

So why do we keep these hated things?

Because we can't afford to forget,

But we don't want to remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~fin~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yea, I wrote this a few years ago back when the theory of the end of the world was brand new.

So I had a tune but totally forgot it...for any of these songs if you have a melody, I want to hear it before you can use my lyrics.

Thanks guys,

Bean

I'm So Over You

So this song needs a little bit of history. I had a crush on this guy the summer before my senior year in high school and he seemed to like me back. I went on a college trip for 3 days down to South Carolina, his birthday happened to be the last day that I was down there. He had a limited amount of minutes to talk so he said that he saved extra minutes for me to talk. When I got back we went on a sort of date down to a festival that was going on in our city. I left again a month later to head on a service trip to Mexico. He told me before we left that he wanted to hear about the trip as soon as I got back. When I got back, he wouldn't return my calls and I ended up finding out that he had found something else to do and didn't really want to talk to me anymore.

The ironic thing here is that he is a musician :P

It took me a long while to get over him, but I eventually managed after a year when I met my current boyfriend who is willing to wait and who talks to me and visits me.

This is called: "I'm So Over You/Someone Else's Arms"

You met me in the park

And told me that I was the one

You wanted to be with forever

You never said as you held me close

That you had someone else on your mind

The only thing I wanted

Was to be happy with you

But I never wanted to see you

Walk away and into the blue

Into someone else's arms

And now I'm so glad that I'm

Over you

Cause what we had is now

Completely gone

And I'm done waiting for you

To make up your mind

I'm so over you

So I left yesterday

And I traveled towards the south

You called me up and said, "I miss you,

And when are you coming back?"

I said three days and happy birthday

And I kept my word

I went again to see the world

And you said that you'd wait

You wanted to hear my stories

But I cane back a week later

An found you didn't want to see me again

And now I found that I was

Over you

Cause what we had is now

Completely gone

And I'm done waiting for you

To make up your mind

I'm so over you

Oh I wish that was true

That I was over you but I know

I was able to move on to better things

I found my love now

And he'll wait he'll keep his word

Because I'm now

Over you

What we had is gone (and I'm glad)

I'm over you and I've moved on

You can leave and I don't care

Though you never left my phone

You have left my heart

I will always be over you

Since I never want to see you again

You wouldn't recognize me anymore

I've changed enough I'm a different person

And I'm so glad you'll never know

Cause I'm over you

I know I'm over you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~fin~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so this got my frustrations with this boy out, but I'm not completely satisfied with this poem, it's kind of more of a rant than anything else. Well, I'm thinking of a melody for this and it's coming along :)

leave a comment!

thanks amigos,

Bean

So I have been in college for about 2 months and I love it here, however, I really miss my home and the people there. Two main people I miss are my little sister, who I am very close to and my boyfriend, who I did get to see this past weekend, but I still miss him. A hug out to all my friends back at home and to my family who I left behind. I love you guys, this is for you...I'm working on a melody for it, but nothing has come yet.

It's called The Place I Call Home/Not Yet Home...( haven't decided yet :P)

It might be the fact that it's all new food

Or that I've never been away from home for so long

And I'm not positive when I'm coming home next,

Maybe it's the fact that I know I should like being away

But I find myself looking forward to getting home

I can't call this place home yet

I try, and I know someday it might be

But I still know that the most important people

In my life are still back in that small town

The place that I still call home

I can't say that I'm not happy here,

Cause I know I am

And there isn't a placed where I can learn

What I want to learn quite like here

But I can't help what goes through my head

I can't call this place home yet

I try, and I know someday it might be

But I still know that the most important people

In my life are still back in that small town

The place that I still call home

Maybe it's the fact that it's so quiet here

I had gotten used to the wild home I lived in

And suddenly it's not the same kind of wild

Not the same distractions that I had gotten so used to

And people don't care about the little things

I can't call this place home yet

I try, and I know someday it might be

But I still know that the most important people

In my life are still back in that small town

That place that I still call home

That place that I still call home

It might be the fact that it's all new food

Or that I've never been away from home for so long

And I'm not positive when I'm coming home next,

Maybe it's the face that I know I should like being away

But I find myself looking forward to getting home

I'm looking forward to going home

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~fin~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If anyone has any ideas for it, I'm open to critiques, as long as you don't say it sux! lol

I'm not totally satisfied with it, but this is as good as it's gonna be for now.

Thanks guys,

Bean

Some History

So, I have been writing songs/poems for a long time now, they seem to help me vent about what I think about my life. They never really seem to go anywhere but I like them anyways.

I'm 18 years old and I am currently in Northfield, MN at St Olaf College studying Spanish and Pyscology. I am originally from Port Washington, WI. Which is where I still consider my home to be and I miss all the people there :)

For now, I'm just going to be posting some of my lyrics or poems, comment if you want, but otherwise, I really hope that someone looks at this. So thanks!

Bean