Secrets/Secrets from You

This is a more angry song...everyone lies at some point. Some people lie more than others. That's what I got :)
I was upset at my father at the time I wrote this, btw

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Secrets/Secrets from You
--------
You can guilt trip me
To do what you want
You can make me feel
Like it's what I want
While all the time
I'm laughin inside
About the things
You think you know

I keep secrets
Yes even from you
I keep secrets
You know it's true
Believe what you want
Hear what you want
But now you know
I got my secrets

You think I'm pure
You think I'm good
But how are you sure
I do just what I should
And not the things
You dont want me to
How do you know
Exactly what I do

I keep secrets
Yes even from you
I keep secrets
You know it's true
Ignore what you want
Think what you want
But deep inside you know
I got my secrets

I'll have a beer
Once in a while
Doesn't mean it's not clear
What you think
About this life I lead
Just to pick a fight
With you

I keep secrets
Yes definately from you
I keep secrets
You know it's true
Hear what you want
Think what you want
Ignore what you want
Believe what you want
But you know you know
I keep secrets
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank ye,
Bean

Behind my Fans

Alright, so I met up with this guy who I hasn't contacted me in over a year after he deliberately ignored me and now we are acting as if nothing ever happened. Meanwhile I've moved on and yea, just a little awkward, maybe I over reacted but still,made me think too much :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Behind my fans

Why did you have to come back
Into my life and ruin it
Before I hadn't kept track
Of how much you really turn it
You messed up all my plans
You screwed up my new plans

But for now I'll hide
I'll hide all of my plans
And you know I've tried
But I'm hidin behind my fans
Where you won't think to look
Cause this isnt the me you took

I had gotten over you
Finally was movin on
I even found someone new
Don't want to be your pawn
To move yourself forward
To keep yourself goin hard

But for now I'll hide
I'll hide all of my plans
And you know I've tried
But I'm hiding behind my fans
Where you won't think to look
Cause this isn't the me you took

You should know while you're here....

You ruined my plans
You ruined my head
I'm nowhiding in fans
Maybe under my bed
But I wouldn't have it
Any...other....way...

But for now I'll hide
I'll hide all of my plans
And you know I've tried
But I'm hiding behind my fans
Where you won't think to look
Cause this isn't the me you took
Cause this isn't the me you took
Cause this isn't the me you took

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank ye,
Bean

You are My Anti-Drug

So I wrote this while I was working, and it's got a melody that is possible, think Paramore influences. :)

~~~~~~~~

You are My Anti-Drug

Whenever you look at me, I feel so vulnerable

Whenever you hold me, I feel like letting go

You've got this grip on me, that whenever you're here

It all just seems so easy

And it'll all turn out just fine

Cause you are my anti-drug

You're the only one who knows everything that I want

You know what to say and you know how to act

You're everything that you could be

To be my drug

You aren't afraid to hold my hand as we walk along

You'll hold my waist and tell me that I will be someone

You tell me it's ok that they point and laugh

Just ignore their stupid ways

And it'll all turn out just fine

Cause you are my anti-drug

You're the only one who knows everything that I want

You now what to say and you know how to act

You're everything that you could be

To be my drug

No I know I'm impractical

And I know that you think I'm nuts

But if you could only see what you're doing to me

I'm sure you wouldn't walk away

Cause you shouldn't walk away

And I've learned from you

That promises they do come true, you're my proof

And that's all I need

Cause you are my anti-drug

You're the only one who knows everything that I want

You know what to say and you know how to act

You're everything you could be

You're everything you could be

You're everything you could be

To be my drug

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yay! I posted again :)

ok, that's what I got for now ppls :)

Thanks,

Bean

2 am

So I got to see someone special this weekend and after that i couldn't sleep almost at all the night after. This song i wrote at probly like 2 am of something, hence the song :) When he visited he told me that "there are a few that aren't angry", so I tried to be happier lol, but it ok, it true :P

SO here's a new one! i hope it goes over better :)

2 am

It's 2 am and I can't stop thinking about you

Don't you know what you've done to me boy

You've made me think and want to talk

And I can't wait until I get your next text

You've made me love again

After I thought it could never happen again

Damn what have you done to me boy

I think I fell in love with you

Boy you've made me remember

WHat if feels like to be happy

And what I can do with myself

Real people with real emotions

Who tell each other everything keeping no secrets,

Not even the secret of our feelings

I can tell when you hold me

I know I fell in love with you

And if feels so good to be loved by you too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright so this has like no structure, but hey 2 am is not my brightest time of day. So give a girl a break, any comments are welcome other than i totally sux :)

Thanks guys,

Bean

Long Time

So, I got upset and I'm tired of doing so. But I can't really help it. I live in a different state than my boyfriend, which is alright, but I only get to see him so often and personally I'd like to see him at least once a month, but that's probly not gonna happen, which is just the way the world is at times. But I wrote this at like 2 am or something.

"Long Time"

Whatever happened to me,

What happened to the girl who didn't cry,

What happened to the girl who could go it alone,

I've changed, bit I'm not sure now,

Was the change for good r not for me?

I can't make someone else unhappy

I really can't live with that idea

But I ignore when people do it to me

But it's been way too long

Since I've seen my baby,

I know it sounds funny and stupid

But it's true, I just want a hug now

No matter what you say or what you think

I love the boy you think is strange

We make a great pair really

We are the two misfits, no one is sure about

All my friends say I'm strange, but I don't care

My boy loves me for who I am

But it's been way too long

Since I've seen my baby,

I know it sounds funny and stupid

But it's true, I just want a kiss now

It gets hard to be an individual

When everyone's tellin you you're wrong

I try so hard to just fit in

I think we were just born to stand out

Once I asked my boy to change

Change so we'd fit in, but that change

That change was despicable he's perfect for me

But it's been way too long

Since I've seen my baby,

I know it sounds funny and stupid

But it's true, I just want you here right now

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks,

bean

Pathetic

Sorry this took me so long!

So I have been helping people with relationship issues for quite a while, and one of my friends, more like my "sister", really makes me think whenever she talks to me. This song is for her. Hun, I'm not calling you pathetic at all but I'm following the train of thought that you used when you were talking to me. Love ya!

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Called "Pathetic"

Whatever you did yo here,

It must have been bad,

To hide it from me

Until times get this sad

You think that you're smooth

And that no one will ever

Learn your dirty little secret

You're Pathetic

Yes that's what I said

A pathetic looser who got inside my head

And no matter what I do

I can't get you out

Pathetic

How did we end up this bad

And why all of a sudden

Am I getting so mad,

Mad at what I thought was real

Mad at what I wanted to be true

But mostly mad at you because...

You're Pathetic

Yes that's what I said

A pathetic looser who got

Inside my head

And no matter what I do

I can't get you out

Pathetic

Quit calling me

Quit talking to me

You forever changed how I think of you

And no matter what you say

You'll never leave me alone

Now does that make me...

Pathetic

Yes that's what I said

A pathetic looser who

let you into my head

And no matter what I do

No matter what I do....

I can't get you out

Am I that pathetic

~~~~~~~~~~~~fin~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thank ye,

bean

Something

There's something about writing these poems/songs that helps me think clearly. When everything is a muddle, I have my words to help me through, they may not be long songs, but they are what they are.

"Something" is not about stalking like some may think. It's about being forgotten and thus forgetting and not allowing a person back into a life that hurt it.

Something

It's never been to clear

I'm standing at your doorway again

What am I doing here

I don't know where I've been

There is something pushing you away

Always something bringing me near

Aomething that i never want to say

But with you it's so clear

You are the reason for me

To be standing here livin my days

You are the reason for me

To be livin through my days

The world is filled with winding roads

Inside the fabric of our lives

The ones that brought us to this fold

We've never been so alive

You are the reason for me

To be standing here livin my days

You are the reason for me

To be livin through my days

There is something pushing you away

Always something pushing you away

You never had the time for me

Even though I have always been there

You are the reason for me

To be standing hatin my days

You are the reason for me

To be living through my days

Well now you are here again

And I don't have time for you

SInce you didn't want me near

Why should I even start to care

You are the reason I'm strong

Without you I would not have learned

That what goes on through life

Is no such fairy-tale

I's never been too clear

I'm standing at your doorway again

What am I doing here

I won't be back ever again....ever again....ever again....

You are the reason for me

To be standing here livin my days

You are the reason for me

To be lovin my last few days

~~~~~~~~~~~~~fin~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yay, all done